proposal advice

Should we get married or install a new kitchen?

Love is a beautiful thing. It makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do. In the initial months of a relationship, even taking out the rubbish is done with a smile. In today’s world, more and more couples are living together before getting married – according to 2012 figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), 75 per cent of couples are now living together before marriage. So having certain goals on your joint household ‘to do’ list is only natural. 

[Tweet “According to 2012 figures from the ABS, 75% of couples now live together before marriage”]

Women make the decisions

So whose decision is it really? Whether to get married or not is something most ladies have a say in. Now I’m not sure on the actual numbers, but it’s a well-known fact that, while us guys think we make most of the decisions, it is actually the ladies who are the main decision-makers. If you’re lucky, your lady may even let you ‘think’ that you are in control of making the decision.

Women decide whether it is time to get married or not

This is often especially true when looking at decision relating to the home, with women having the final say on which house to buy, and basing their decision on the kitchen, bathroom and wardrobe space. Major renovating decisions are also often made by women. With the ever-increasing cost of organising a wedding, you may find yourself discussing with your partner whether to buy a ring, or a new kitchen. (If kitchens are not your thing, the choice might be between getting married and an overseas holiday or other significant purchase.)

Is it time to get married or not?

Sometimes the decision really just comes down to which one your partner wants more at the time. If the fixer upper you just moved into, has a kitchen only good enough for takeout, and you get the feeling from your partner that it’s a new kitchen or moving back in with her parents. Then maybe it might be worthwhile postponing the pending engagement while you make your new home liveable.

Timing is everything

to get married or not?For each couple, the timing of when to take the relationship to the next level is different. I have seen couples who have only been together for a matter of months before deciding to take the plunge. Likewise, I have seen couples who have been together for over 17 years, and maybe don’t really want to get married, but still choose to celebrate their relationship with a commitment ring. While there is no right or wrong length of time to ‘be together’ before marriage, one thing is for sure – once the decision has been made, it is time. A proposal is usually not too far away.

When to propose?

In my experience, the three-year mark is usually a rough guide for couples looking to get engaged. However, this time frame usually becomes shorter as you get older – some couples in their forties wait less than a year. 

If you would love to receive 12 fortnightly emails on some of the most FAQ on jewellery that I have received over the last 20 years. Please sign up to our 12 email series.